Moron the cat...

I've always loved cats.
I think it's genetic.
My grandparents always had a million cats and a visit to their house was always yielded lots of cat lovin'.

It has always been my opinion that if you ever hear someone talking about how they have extra kittens or cats to get rid of, it is your obligation to take at least one of them home as a pet. One can never have too many cats around.
My opinions are sound, reasonable and rational right?
No one alive can dispute my logic over this opinion or anything else, ever.

So... the opportunity for me to take home someone's extra cat came up a few years ago and we've had this awesome black and white cat ever since.
When she was a kitten and brand new to our family we all came up with a list of possible names for her.
We then decided to give her all of the names at once.
Her full name is officially 'Little miss Cleopatra Penelope Banana Foam Taco Bucket Mew Mew Mew'.
We call her Titters.

This is her posing candidly:

Here she is again wearing a hat and sunglasses because we're mean like that...

and here's a picture of me balancing eggs so they stand up straight.

I know it's completely off topic but it's something worth showing off.

Only I can do it.

Before I get back on topic here's a close up:

Cool eh?
Let's see you try it.

So anyway....

Recently the same woman who blessed us with the first cat came by the shop where I work and announced that her daughter has brought home yet another kitten and she needs to be rid of it.

Obviously that means it's my duty to myself and my family to volunteer to go and retrieve this unwanted kitten and bring her home.

This is a picture of the upper portion of the wall that the previous owners of our house built which separates the two rooms in our basement:

Notice that for some reason the person who built the wall left a little hole?
No big deal right? it's just a wall with a shelf and a hole.

Anyway, we brought this new cat home and sort of expected a short period of turmoil while the cats got used to each other.

The large cat instantly took to chasing the small cat around and beating her up whenever she could.

Here's a photo of our new cat finding respite inside the aforementioned hole in the wall:

She uses the shelf to get up there and struts across the ceiling and lives between the joists.

Fair enough.

She doesn't get beat up when she's in there and eventually she'll come down right?

I've started calling her the intermittent ceiling cat.

Julie calls her Skitters.

From time to time Skitters graces us with her presence and resurfaces on ground level and we all share cat lovin' and everyone is happy.

Everyone except for Titters.

Titters always takes these opportunities to pounce on Skitters and beat her up good and proper.

She won't stop beating her up until one of two things happens.

She'll stop if we spray her with a water bottle or she'll stop if Skitters has a crap in the midst of their scrap and together they smear cat poop everywhere.

Remember, this is what causes Spencer to puke in the sink all over the dirty dishes.

I hate cats.

I've proposed to the family that we need to re-evaluate our ownership of the intermittent ceiling cat and thereby reduce the volume of shit and vomit I have to clean up in a day.

The result of my proposal was inconsolable tears.

I'm thinking tears are easier to clean up than stinky, smeary, intermittent cat shit.

Aren't they?